Research shows that when people compare themselves to others, they lose self-esteem. Soon they’re preoccupied with what “the Joneses” are doing. Then, all they do is spend money they don’t have, on things they don’t need. As a result, they watch their mountain of debt soar as their motivation plummets.
“Comparison is the death of joy.”
― Mark Twain
Soon, they’re so depressed they don’t even try to save themselves anymore.
As you can see, comparing yourself to other people can be a toxic habit.
Fortunately, you can stop sizing yourself up with everyone. Afterward, your motivation will make a comeback and your self-esteem reawakens.
Also, you won’t feel the need to buy things you don’t need and you’ll be content with what you have right now.
How not to compare yourself to others anymore so you can be happy with where you’re at now!
1. Don’t compare yourself to an illusion of perfection
“The tip of the neighbour’s iceberg often looks very nice.”
– Roy A. Ngansop
People who seem to have flawless lives on social media are just portraying that illusion. They’ll never post how they cry at night, the debt they’ve built, or their arguments with their partner.
So, don’t waste your mental energy on the facade they show to the world. If it seems like an ideal life, it’s not.
Instead, think up creative ideas you can use to improve your life. After all, that’s under your control!
2. Observe other people’s lives only to discover what you want in yours
“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
– Lao Tzu
There are good and bad ways to compare. Instead of envying someone’s success, ask yourself what you admire about them. If what they’re doing really inspires you and you believe you’d love to take that path, try it. If it doesn’t work out, at least now, you won’t feel the longing to be like them anymore.
It might lead you to another path more suited for you.
So, take their achievements, modify them however needed, and create goals for yourself.
Write out the steps and put them in your planner. Use your desire to encourage yourself to take action and make them happen!
3. Focus more on gratitude
“Let us not look at the talents we wish we had or pine away for the gifts that are not ours but instead do the best we can with what we have.”
― BJ Richardson
If you’re always dwelling on other people’s lives, then chances are you’re neglecting yours. And that’s never good.
Step back and look around at everything and everyone in your world.
Take some time to cultivate and refine your relationships, environment, and belongings. Fine-tune your skillsets and be proud of everything you have. You might discover that you’re pretty lucky!
4. Journal about your proudest moments
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
For those days, when you keep falling into the comparison trap, try journaling. Write about what you’ve done that made you proud. That way, you’ll train yourself to notice your impressive qualities.
Confident, secure people don’t dwell on what’s missing in their life.
It’s best to compare yourself to how you were in the past. Journal about the goals or skills you want to gain and how you’ll do it.
So, write about how far you’ve come from a few years ago.
5. You can’t compare humans
“Stop comparing yourself to other people; you are an original. We are all different and it’s okay. “
In order to compare things, they need to be the same type. Sure, humans are the same species, but it’s not like comparing fruit. People are the most multi-faceted, complex creatures in the known universe!
You have qualities that other people would love to have and vice versa. No one is 100% better or worse than anyone.
So, if a scientist was going to compare people, each person would need to start at the same level. Then rate them from there.
Therefore, they’d need to have the same personalities, DNA, and level of health. Both need to grow up having similar life experiences (good and bad), mindset, education, privileges, and role models.
Good luck finding that!
Otherwise, as the old saying goes, “it’s like comparing apples and oranges.” Neither one is better or worse. They’re just different and, therefore, incomparable.
6. Choose your friends wisely
“Comparison can turn friends into adversaries.”
― Frank Sonnenberg
Never go into debt to “keep up” with your friends or neighbors. Your friends should accept you as you are.
So, get rid of those that try to rub your face in their successes. Stop returning their calls or texts and cut them out of your life. You deserve better than that!
7. Catch yourself when you compare yourself to others
“Resist the temptation to compare yourself to others. This is crucial in order to be able to manifest whatever you want. “
— Wayne Dyer
The next time you see someone who has a glorious life, don’t default to comparison. Purposely think, “Good for them! That’s awesome!” It’ll be challenging at first, but with enough repetition, it’ll become habitual.
So, practice feeling truly happy for other people when they achieve something. Put yourself in their shoes and feel their joy.
8. Never let society tell you how you compare to the rest
“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”
– Danielle LaPorte
Don’t allow society, or even your parents, to tell you what you should do with your life.
You weren’t mass-produced in a factory; you’re a one-of-a-kind individual. Not even identical twins are exactly alike.
Not everyone wants the same life, and that’s good!
If you want to be happier and more fulfilled, then you need to custom-design your goals to your desires, no one else’s.
9. Imagine what it’ll take
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
— Steve Furtick
If you’re feeling jealous of someone’s success, remind yourself that you can get to their level too.
But you don’t know what they had to go through behind the scenes to get to where they are. In some cases, it can take years of working day and night.
But if you’re willing to put in the effort, go for it! Write out your plan and put it into action.
To sum up, it’s a waste of time and energy to compare yourself to others.
Besides, people aren’t comparable anyway, especially on social media!
After you defeat this habit, you won’t feel envious whenever others are joyful. You’ll regain the ability to feel genuine happiness for others’ accomplishments.
So, always remember, you aren’t inferior to anyone, and start focusing on what you have in your life today.
Also, continue to encourage yourself by subscribing to Motivated Progress!