Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

14 Ways to Be More Authentic and Unleash Your True, Amazing Self

Learning how to be your authentic self will change every aspect of your life for the better. You'll stop people-pleasing and striving for approval. As a result, your confidence soars past what you thought was possible!
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When you’re authentic, you free yourself from being a slave for others’ approval. You no longer allow people to take advantage of you. As a result, your self-esteem catapults higher than ever.

Photo by Kate Andreeshcheva from Pexels
Photo by Kate Andreeshcheva from Pexels

We can be totally alone and completely blissed out on the magnificence of life.
Being true to yourself is a surefire way to a happy and meaningful life. It will boost your confidence levels.
Besides, people dislike those that are inauthentic. It’s not attractive to hide behind lies and especially if you get caught in them.
Breaking free from your false self won’t be easy. You’ll have to do some inner work, and it might not be pleasant. That’s how you know you need to do it.

Try the following steps to become your phenomenal authentic self:

1. Accept your authentic self

Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash
Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

People choose not to be authentic because they’re hiding parts of themselves that they haven’t accepted. They believe that others won’t accept it as well. But in reality, if you approve of yourself, then people won’t even notice it.

Accept who you are so you can become a more genuine person.

2. Be authentic because people’s opinions of you don’t define you

Authentic guy laughing.
Photo by Jimmy Jimmy from Pexels

Remember, only you know who you really are. What other people think about you doesn’t mean much because they have no idea. Their words mean nothing. Only you know the truth.

 So, what they say about you is irrelevant. You get to choose how you feel about yourself, so decide to be confident!

Also, don’t try to read other people’s thoughts. Chances are, you’re mistaken anyway. Accept that you have no control over their thoughts, and that’s okay. Your opinion of yourself is what matters. If you could see what they’re thinking, you’d find that they’re mostly worried about themselves and their lives. They aren’t judging you.

3. Stop caring so much

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Yeah, you read that right. You’ve got to stop caring about everything you do and say. You don’t need to waste time wondering how people will react to you.
In reality, it doesn’t matter what strangers think of you. Furthermore, your true friends will accept you no matter what.
People pleasers live for others’ approval. This wrecks your confidence and enforces the feeling that you aren’t good enough. It makes you think that you must work extra hard for acceptance.
But you don’t. You are a fascinating human being that just needs to loosen the reins a bit. Let yourself run free in all your brilliance.
Who cares what anyone thinks!

4. Share your authentic opinions even if others disagree

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When you stand up for what you believe, even when others disagree, you become more authentic. It takes some courage, but you can do it.

You don’t need to agree with everything your group thinks. Instead, you can add your own opinions and observations that they haven’t thought of yet. Plus, you inspire people to question things and make their own decisions as you did.

5. Build your self-esteem

Photo by Isaac Castillejos on Unsplash
Photo by Isaac Castillejos on Unsplash

People aren’t themselves when they have low self-esteem. Notice when you feel self-conscious. You might feel like you should act like you’re smarter than you really are or that you make more money. Stop.
Think to yourself, “I have nothing to be ashamed of; I’ve accepted who I am, and I don’t need anyone else to agree.”

6. Handle criticisms better

Photo by Ingrid Vasconcelos on Unsplash
Photo by Ingrid Vasconcelos on Unsplash

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

– Aristotle

Behind every criticism is something you can work on to become better. Don’t take these comments to heart and obsess about them. Ask yourself, “how can I use this to make myself or my business better?”

Fake people pretend as they’ve never messed up before and never will. But that’s ridiculous. We’ve all made mistakes. What matters is if we learn from them or not.
If you can’t admit to slipping up at times, how will you ever move past it?
Besides, people will see you as a genuine person if you have the confidence to accept that you make mistakes.

7. Stop trying to be like everyone else

Unapologetically authentic woman.
Photo by Chris Murray on Unsplash

How can you ever be your true self if you’re always acting like other people? You’re going to need to change some default behaviors and choices.

What if you did something that your friends don’t do? If you bought an Android phone instead of an iPhone, would they hate you for it? Of course not. However, if they did, then you don’t need them in your world anyway. They’re holding you back from being your real self.

8. Cherish your solitude

Find your authentic self in solitude,
Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Dedicate some time every day or week to just be by yourself with your thoughts. You could journal, work on a hobby, or do whatever you want to do. Some people meditate to find themselves.

Learn who you are and what you want out of life. Ask yourself what you value. Where do you want to go in life? What makes you amazing?

Enjoy this time of solitude and think positive thoughts about what you’re thankful for in life.

9. Don’t desire approval, and you’ll get approved

Authentic women.
Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!”

– Olin Miller

You don’t need others’ acceptance if you choose to accept yourself. Have unconditional self-acceptance. People perceive you the way you perceive yourself.

As children, we aren’t told that we need to find out who we are so, we grasp any clues about who we might be. We hear criticisms from teachers, peers, and our parents and think that’s who we are. Then, we hold these messages tight and close to our hearts for years.
We try to better ourselves by receiving more positive messages from others. So we abandon ourselves and become people pleasers.
All because we never realized that we had the power the whole time. In fact, we don’t need anyone’s approval to feel confident or worthy.

Discovering who you are will help you not to believe whatever people tell you about yourself.

Don’t put your self-worth in the hands of strangers or anyone else. You are always worthy of love, no matter what.

10. Be honest and authentic to yourself

Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash
Photo by Thom Holmes on Unsplash

At the root of not being yourself is the feeling of shame, and that’s one toxic emotion! It’ll destroy your self-worth and ability to believe in yourself.
Hiding your true self is painful too.

It’s the reason you feel worn out most of the time. Furthermore, you’re carrying around old shame with you through each day. This can be seriously detrimental to your well-being. The longer you hide, the more you tear down your soul.

11. Not everyone will like you regardless of how you act

No matter what you do, there will be some people that don’t approve of you. That’s just how it is. So, it’s not worth it to try so hard.

If someone talks trash about you, they are usually upset by something about themselves. So, don’t get offended. Brush it off. Ironically, people will like you when you’re being yourself and not caring what anyone thinks.

12. Be unapologetically yourself

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

If someone doesn’t like who you are, that’s not your problem. It’s theirs. So, let them deal with it.
You don’t have to cater to anyone!
Give yourself permission to come out of hiding and do something out of the ordinary.

13. Interview yourself

You can’t be your true self if you don’t know who you are. So, you’ll need to find that out first.

Ask yourself:

  • What are my best qualities?
  • What morals are important to me?
  • Where do I want to be in 10 years? What accomplishments will I have?
  • Am I on the right path? Did I choose it, or did someone else?
  • What is my passion in life?
  • How do I define success? Am I headed that way?
  • What hobbies do I have or want to try?
  • What aspect of yourself do you think you should hide from others? Why?
  • Do you feel this way because of something that happened in the past?
  • If you were to be yourself, what’s the worst that might happen?

Spend time alone asking yourself questions, and you’ll soon know who you are.
When you’re authentic, people will want to be around you. Your energy gives them the freedom to be themselves too, and that is a great feeling!

14. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

We’ve become obsessed with how many people “like” us on social media and in real life. But, if we don’t get these “likes,” does that mean we’re unlikable? Of course not.

On social media, no one shows the painful moments of their lives. So don’t believe what you see. It’s not real.

Everyone has hard times and drama that they aren’t sharing. Social media will only show you their imaginary “perfect” life.

So, of course, it’s ridiculous to compare yourself to that.

authentic guy with friends.
Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels

In the end, when you get used to being your authentic self, every area of your life improves. You won’t be so tired and stressed out because you won’t be wasting energy acting like someone else. So, please spend some time alone and learn to enjoy it. Think about who you are and what you believe. Stop following the crowd and betraying your unique self. Let go of needing others to approve of you and accept your wonderful authentic self!

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  1. Truly a wonderful article. I particularly liked the part about how in childhood you look for clues about who you are. It is so true. Teachers and people I grew up with made me think I was a loser and for many years I believed them. It wasn’t until my mid to late twenties that I discovered that I was so much more. Thank you for this post can’t wait till next week.

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